Enough is Enough

Growing up there was never enough. Never enough money, sure, but also never enough space, comfort, food, safety, love, or support. In fact, there was never enough of anything that makes a person thrive. What there was plenty of instead were lessons. I learned everything I wanted for my life, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do as the antithesis of all I grew up surrounded by.

But how do I flip the switch from scarcity to abundance when the most abundant things I seem to possess are doubts and anxiety?

I have a theory. That everyone operates from a scarcity mindset in some sort of way. We all have insecurities, which is just another word for feeling a lack. It may be some perceived lack of beauty, intelligence, money, respect, talent, whatever, but there’s an internalized belief of some inherent not-enough-ness lurking somewhere deep inside us all. Hate, bigotry, overconsumption, abuse, all these evils also stem from this same sense of lack.  When you believe there’s only a finite amount to go around, and someone else may have something you don’t, it’s pretty easy to have some big feelings about not having enough.

But this is all bullshit.

All our insecurities and beliefs about scarcity are manufactured. By our family, our culture, advertisers, politicians, or whoever needs to keep you in a place where you will never feel an inherent sense of security. Not all of their intentions are nefarious, many times it’s just so ingrained that others can’t even see through their own beliefs about scarcity. They may tell you that’s “just the way it is.” They may plead victimhood, blame the government, society, the rich, their mommy, whatever, for not believing in themselves or having the life they desire. I’ve been there too. But giving up your power to others doesn’t promote happiness or change. It just perpetuates the cycle of scarcity that I’m set on breaking.

So, the first step, like the first step in so many of life’s changes, is to admit I have a problem.

Hi, my name is DJ, and I have a scarcity mindset.

But I want to change. I can see the abundance waiting for me with crystal-clear vision. And I’ve done enough work to recognize that it’s only a transparent veil of my own beliefs separating me from the reality that I desire. So, how do I move beyond the veil? Well, I’ll tell you when I get there, but in all the past cycles I’ve broken before, it first started with a vision. Check that! And the next step was a choice.

I could continue with the same actions, the same belief patterns, the same negative loops, or I could stop. Easy right? Ummmmm, no actually. That’s the hard part. It’s one thing to say I’m going to stop this negative scarcity thought cycle from singing its doomy what-if song from playing on repeat every day, and a way tougher thing to actually create a new habit. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight either. That soundtrack will sneak up on you when you least expect it, especially if you’re not diligent in replacing it with a new song about freedom, and abundance, and faith. But the more I keep playing that new tune, the more it gets stuck in my head.

The next step is "super simple" too. Let go. Give up looking for clues that it’s working, that changes are happening, that answers will arrive. It’s a trust exercise, and one that I find is the biggest challenge. Yes, you can trust in others, in your faith, or the universe, or whatever helps you get through the day, but the ultimate test of trust is trusting in yourself. I have everything I need to achieve whatever I desire. How could I not? That’s what I came here to do. On any given day I can choose to believe that the world is headed to hell in a handbasket and find overwhelming evidence to support that belief. Or, I could choose to believe that everything is always working out and there’s beauty, and abundance, and a world full of joy to experience, and find overwhelming evidence to support that belief too.

And which choice will lead me to have a better day?

There may be no discernible change in the events that occur due to my choice in beliefs, but my experience will be vastly different. The energy I put into the world will be different, and as a result, the consequences will be very different too. I can’t pretend to know how my mindset really sets off a new chain of events, but how could it not?

Today was a totally crazy day at work, followed by a basketful of adulting duties and some huge bills in the mailbox. And you know what? It will all be okay. How can I be so sure? Because I believe it will be, that’s how.

What would the world look like if everyone believed that they were enough, that there were enough resources to go around, and enough love and kindness to give freely to one another? Okay, there may be more drum circles and patchouli oil too, but there would also be a whole lot less of everything that sucks, so it’s a decent tradeoff.

It may be a hot second before we get there, but for now I’ll do my part. I’ll work on stopping my own cycle of scarcity so that I can receive more abundance, and maybe, just maybe, encourage more of this mindset in my little corner of the world. My hubby always tells my boy at basketball practice, “You’ll never make the shot when you’re thinking about all the shots you missed before.” So, I’m going to keep my eyes on the prize, on a life filled with enough. Because looking at what’s missing just isn’t enough for me anymore.