100 blessings a day?

When I first learned of the Jewish practice of saying at least one hundred blessings every single day, I thought it was cuckoo-bananas. How would anyone even have time for anything else? Wouldn’t you just spend all day praying? I knew from my one year of Hebrew school way back when that there were blessings before meals, for holidays, for wine, and prayers for the morning and evening too. But one hundred? How do you even find that many things to pray about?

Yet, over and over again, I’ve been hearing the same advice when it comes to setting yourself up for a day of success by starting off with a prayer of gratitude. Generally, upon waking, my mental to-do list clicks on with thoughts of items to check off throughout the day. Either that, or the old what-if song starts singing its tune of doom and despair. One way or the other, I’m getting keyed up and anxious before my feet even touch the floor. I may be stubborn, but even I recognize when something’s not quite working.

While the gurus all tout the power of gratitude, I’ve always associated the word with people who have “blessed” signs on their living room walls and talk more about what they have than what they can give. But I can get on the excitement train, so I decided to start small and try to think of just one thing I could get excited about for the day.

Turns out, it’s pretty easy to find.

They aren’t usually big things; sometimes it’s just trying the new type of coffee in the cupboard, or getting to walk my dogs, or doing a craft with my kids. And some days it’s bigger, like a trip to the beach, or a project I get to complete. I can usually find SOMETHING to get excited about if I really try. And unsurprisingly, that does feel better than doom-scrolling my brain for what might go wrong in the next twenty-four hours.

But excitement only lasts so long. It can help get my feet on the floor with less tension in my toes, but it doesn’t sustain. Once the coffee is drunk, the walk taken, the project completed, it’s a new task to find an external event to keep the momentum going. So, how do I sustain this feeling? How do I find the opposite of anxiety within me?

I decided to take a note from the ancient texts and start my day with a blessing of thanks. I don’t speak Hebrew, and the long Jewish prayers don’t really speak to me, so I made up my own. I say thanks for the day. That’s it. Just a quick little thank you to whatever powers may be for my being here to experience today. And you know what? While I’m at it, I may as well say thanks for my husband sleeping beside me, for the cozy bed beneath me, and for the dogs and the kiddos too.

Uh-oh. Maybe those old rabbis knew what was up after all.

Since I have an aversion to the whole over-used gratitude word, I’m going to say that there is a whole lot to appreciate each day. The ancient Jewish texts have prayers to say for just about every event that could happen, from seeing a mountain, to washing your hands, to taking a pee in the morning. And really, aren’t all those things worth appreciating? Maybe they’re not the most exciting things that could happen but knowing that I get to be here and experience them is definitely worth celebrating.

And the more I start looking for things to appreciate, the more I find. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are still plenty of days when I wake up with apprehension rather than appreciation. But, finding those things in my life to appreciate, both big and small, is a way to get the day back on track. It’s like a soft pillow to rest upon whenever I want. Even in the worst of times, on the shittiest of days, it’s right there, I just have to notice it.

Turns out the opposite of anxiety lies in all those blessings. When I’m busy feeling thankful, there’s little room for doubt and worry to edge their way in. So, I’m allowing myself to appreciate more and more. Some days it’s so easy I feel like I could say a million blessing! (Don’t worry, I’m not investing in one of those blessed signs anytime soon). But most days I probably don’t get close to a hundred blessings, and some days it’s not until my family says thanks at the supper table that I even remember to appreciate the day at all.

Growing up surrounded by negativity, I learned that the law of attraction will quickly snowball more negativity into one’s life if that’s what you’re looking for. It may not always be easy to see how things are going to work out. Positivity can be a hard one to maintain even for those most practiced with it. But appreciation seems like positivity’s more easy-going cousin. It doesn’t ask for a sunny outlook or some candy-coated sliver-lining assurity. Appreciation isn’t concerned with what will be. It lives in the now, in the minutiae of our everyday experiences. It guides us back to the moment, reminding us that it’s the only moment to concern ourselves with. The glass may be half empty some days and half full on others, but we can all appreciate that there’s something to drink.

I may not always remember to practice appreciation. Life gets busy, and days can be overwhelming and chaotic. But appreciation is an understanding friend. I can lose touch, even start hanging out with my old nemesis anxiety, but it’s always right there for me when I need it. Currently, there’s a tidal wave of transitions coming around the bend, from the kiddos starting Middle School and High School in a few weeks, an impending move with no new home secured as of yet, and a business my husband and I are running with tons of possibility but tons of pressure too. Sometimes it’s so hard to get my head above water that it feels utterly ridiculous to give thanks for the water I’m drowning in. But just like everyone else, every day I can keep swimming is a good day.

There are those days when I wake up and I don’t even have to remind myself to say a blessing. I hope with time and practice that that becomes my experience more often than not. I’m not trying to compete with the ancient mystics and get to one hundred, two hundred, or a million blessings or more. As lovely and peaceful as the meditative monks and prayer-full rabbis may be, that’s not the path for me. But if I can allow a bit more calm into my day and teach myself to turn a past of fear and negativity into one of love and appreciation, well, I guess that’s just one more thing to be truly grateful for.